Thursday 1 April 2010

hi. now. i'm here. where are you? what are you looking for? I guess we're all just looking for signposts. i can tell you what tells you is not the i but this. and this says you are everything already but you must get rid of what you're not before you can believe it.

so what has this got to say but your own natural inner rhythm? ha- there's the bind- not a lot really. come back to your self. be at peace. in love. open. be.

8 comments:

benjamin said...

How to get rid of what one is not?
And should i eventually believe it or genuinely know/be it?

Nathan said...

Hi Ben...

The following is fom 'I AM THAT.' I'm not quoting it for the sake of quoting it. Rather, I read these words and cut and paste them (hopefully in a suitable order) after reading your comment because they seem relevant:



"Remember, you cannot abandon what you do not know. To go beyond yourself, you must know yourself."

"Watch over your thoughts, feelings, words and actions. This will clear your vision."

"Discover all you are not. Body, feelings, thoughts, ideas, time, space, being and not-being, this or that -- nothing concrete or abstract you can point out to is you. A mere verbal statement will not do -- you may repeat a formula endlessly without any result whatsoever. You must watch yourself continuously -- particularly your mind -- moment by moment, missing nothing."

"Be alert. Question, observe, investigate, learn all you can about confusion, how it operates, what it does to you and others. By being clear about confusion you become clear of confusion."

"What you are, you already are. By knowing what you are not, you are free of it and remain in your own natural state. It all happens quite spontaneously and effortlessly."

"All you need is to keep quietly alert, enquiring into the real nature of yourself. This is the only way to peace."

"Know yourself, all else will come with it."



So there we go. Even if you don't like reading spiritual stuff, I recommend reading this!

Seeing what is true, you abandon what is false. Abandoning what is false, you see what is true. And you feel that truth!

benjamin said...

Thanks for this reply.
I had this book before, but gave it away to someone who asked me questions about this. I thought at the time i should not hang onto spiritual stuff, texts or books.
Now i read those lines i feel i should have this book with me.
Yet i feel there is nothing in this world that can really help. Nature endowed Benjamin with paranoia, there is no one i trust to tell me who i am for i know they cannot.
Sometimes i get really pissed off at all the spiritual trend, the so-called non-duality, because in the end all i get are words and ideas. A picture of the sun does not bring light to the world.
Anyway, ever since i started studying, keeping busy with intellectual exercises all day year in year out, i am not "with myself" and keeping my attention to self-observation seems almost impossible.
So confusion goes away some day and returns again. The clarity of being this as it once was (for a period of 2 years) is covered with doubts.
In the meantime i know i cannot do anything about this because i know i cannot help to be what i am. I feel then that keeping busy with "spiritual stuff" keeps me in the loop rather than free me, i don't want to be "spiritual" nor do i want to be "non-spiritual", the idea of either is absurd to me. I am life, i know, but i know this confusion like a cloud around my head, and i also know that i can "feel the truth" as you put it.
But am i not a good-feeling junk then? See: whom can i trust here? Everyone, everything is partly life, it cannot tell me what i am.
Sometimes it's tough, exhausting.
But i might buy the book again.
Thanks for the quotes :)

Nathan said...

I know what you mean. Sometimes 'spiritual stuff' can seem like a sickness... because it's easy to get hooked on the image of it rather than the reality.

I find that if you think of books and things as signposts then it's all OK. Many spiritual teachings can point you in the right direction. Of course, you travel your own path, but sometimes a little guidance can help. Books can be useful external tools, helping with the interior journey. External tools can help everyone- but essentially, I agree with you totally- only you can work it out for you, and me for me.

I get pissed off at spiritual trends too sometimes... because much of it all seems so false. When it's a trend, it's no longer real. The image is not the reality. E.g. Thinking of the way many 'spiritual' (the word IS absurd!) westerners in India dress- the clothes are not the person. Just an image. Maybe there's an element of reality there (and maybe not)... but you can't let the image bother you... just let it pass. Mostly I've stopped getting pissed off with it now.

The idea of spiritual or non-spiritual is absurd, for sure. Even typing the word can make me cringe... but sometimes there's no other appropriate expression. Again, expression by nature not being the feeling. But sometimes we have to negotiate it somehow... do we? I don't know... but sometimes we like to.

Surely what you can trust is what brings you to your own feeling of what is right.

Jiddu Krishnamurti didn't read any religious or spiritual texts because he didn't want to be swayed by them...

So read his! No, only joking...

But... 'The First and Last Freedom' might help you. It helps me. Very short, pertinent chapters. Through his words, he brings you back to your very self... and not away into some idea.

I'm sure you know all of this already... but just wanted to write in case it helps. Your words often help me.

benjamin said...

Thanks Nathan,
My perspective (for as "mine" as it is) on spirituality is even more weird so to speak as is study languages and culture of South Asia. At the moment i write a thesis on the socio-political background of the development of classical philosophy in Ancient India. And it's incredible because the more i consider it, the more i see the modern/western projection is remote from the history of the texts it uses as a screen. Most of the movements were mere coping with political/social dependence on patronage for which fresh theories had to be developed and stand in debate. The i realise even harder how there is no foundation to be relied upon at all, except for the sheer light of consciousness.

I'd love to chat more with you sometime, do you use skype?

Nathan said...

Sounds like an interesting course. I'm sure it has its ups and downs like anything else. Do you speak Chinese?

I think most projections are remote from their origins... removed from their essence...

...sometimes going to the origins can make that clearer.

I don't use skype, but maybe I should... at the moment I'm quite happy without it, just exchanging ideas like this. I'll be sure to let you know if I start using it.

benjamin said...

Well at the moment it's more down than up. The main point is --and Mike drew similar conclusions-- the alienation from sense and futility of intellectual games and opinions. It's like living in a virtual world of concepts. I am actually wondering whether or not i should continue studying. I could do a master and all, but then what?
And perhaps you are better off without Skype :)

Nathan said...

Hi again Ben...

I was actually going to say how happy I am to be out of the academia loop...

I can completely relate to what you say about it being a world of virtual concepts. It's removed from anything real because there is no personal direct experience to back it up. And without any real substance, it can feel futile, because it's just pushing and pulling without any real substance.

Having said all that, personally I'm really pleased I stuck with it until it was done... and I can't really emphasise that enough.

Having a qualification is useful in the world of things! I never knew how I'd use my qualification, but regardless of anything else, it's enabled me to live how I want to to a certain extent, and helped me go in some pretty unexpected directions. And it helped open up my head... but that was BEFORE all this...

Anyway, I've got to get off this computer now!